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Skip to contentor skip to search. Society is far more judgmental about women who cheat than men; just read Anna Karenina.

Anna Hammond, an arts executive who has written on feminist subjects, points out that seeking an affair in New York is more costly to a woman than a man: The women got a lot from the affairs, she said, passion and a sense of themselves as sexual. I know a lot of guys who seem trapped in sexless marriages.

A New York friend expanded the point. There is today an extensive literature on revitalizing sexuality in marriage. My wife has a copy of seeking an affair in New York book, but when she saw me on the couch reading it, she mocked me. Sexlessness in a marriage is defined as intercourse fewer than ten times a year.

Penn reported that the marketplace for porn is gigantic, dwarfing the national pastime of baseball. Am I consigned to that lonely pleasure? He felt no compunction about this; it was part of the never-ending battle of the sexes. Do we put too much sexual pressure on marriage?

The Affairs of Men. Matthew Pillsbury.