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The cock and balls forest on the M74 should be our national mascot.

Mainly because it means you can take a photo of it and put it on Facebook: You're not Scottish if you've never done. I stuck a plant to his back! He hasn't noticed!

Looks shit, tastes amazing, especially if you mash it all together and make it into a piece using Scottish Plain bread of course. Yes, they look like dead wean's fingers, and yes English people laugh at their name, but we know the truth: Not to mention doing the traditional "wait for it, wait for it, woooooaaahhhhh Such fun.

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Posted on January 24, Hilary Mitchell. View this photo on Instagram. Why did my careers adviser never tell me that this was an option?

Scottish Plain absolutely shits all over every other type of bread. Not going to a wedding or anything, just stoating about in Tesco.

View this vine on Vine. And you buy it, even though it costs four times as much as it does normally.

This only happens about once in a lifetime if you have a Scottish. Someone should really tell that company what "ned" means over.

All hail whoever made the penis forest. They are a true Scottish hero.